The last happiness

I can remember the last time I was happy. To be clear, by “happy” I don’t mean that I recall the last time I laughed until my belly hurt or the last time I just couldn’t stop smiling, I mean that I remember the first time I felt broken and how I haven’t stopped feeling broken ever since. As a consequence, everything before that moment seems to encapsulate “happiness” for me. I was 11 or maybe 12 and I was listening to Kelly Clarkson’s first (and best) album whilst sitting in…

Resistance is Futile

[an article about loving yourself. always] Why are we so afraid of feelings? Neil Gaiman wrote “wherever you go, you take yourself with you”, so you take your feelings too. I have tried to run away from myself. I’ve lived in Hong Kong, volunteered for months at a time in Africa and Nepal, and whilst I have great anecdotes for a dinner party, I now know that I did all that because I was running away from my feelings. And it worked, for a while. But after all that, here…